80 Short and Funny December Quotes

December is here, and with it comes a mix of holiday cheer, chilly weather, and a dash of humor to keep spirits bright. 

Whether you need a quick laugh, a witty observation, or a lighthearted quote to share with friends, these short and funny December quotes are perfect for adding a little joy to the season. 

Embrace the quirks of December with a smile and let these quotes bring some warmth to the cold days ahead.

Short December Quotes

• “December whispers the secrets of winter, painting the world in frosty hues and cozy warmth.”

• “In the heart of December, every snowflake is a reminder of nature’s quiet magic.”

• “December is a month of reflection, where every cold night holds the promise of a new beginning.”

• “As the year winds down in December, we find comfort in the glow of festive lights and the warmth of togetherness.”

• “December mornings are crisp and clear, inviting us to wrap ourselves in the embrace of winter’s calm.”

• “The beauty of December lies in its serene stillness, a time to pause and appreciate life’s simple joys.”

• “In December, the world slows down, allowing us to savor the moments that truly matter.”

• “The magic of December is found in the silent snowfall, blanketing the world in purity and peace.”

• “December nights are filled with dreams and stars, guiding us toward a brighter tomorrow.”

• “In the chill of December, we discover the warmth of our hearts, kindled by love and the spirit of giving.”

• “December is the final note in the year’s symphony, a gentle melody that soothes the soul.”

• “The chill of December air reminds us to gather close, sharing warmth and stories by the fire.”

• “December’s frost etches memories on window panes, each one a reminder of the fleeting beauty of time.”

• “In December, we find magic in the mundane, from the twinkling of lights to the crunch of snow underfoot.”

• “The quiet of December evenings allows for introspection, a time to cherish past moments and plan future dreams.”

• “December’s embrace is a blend of chilly winds and warm hearts, a perfect balance of nature and nurture.”

• “As the days grow shorter in December, the nights become longer for storytelling and reflection.”

• “The stillness of December mornings invites us to breathe deeply, embracing the tranquility of the season.”

• “December is a canvas of white, where each snowflake adds to the masterpiece of winter’s beauty.”

• “In the heart of December, we find solace in the traditions that bring us together, year after year.”

• “December’s snow-covered landscapes remind us of the purity and potential in every new beginning.”

• “The glow of December’s holiday lights reflects the joy and hope we carry within us.”

• “December teaches us to appreciate the beauty in stillness, as nature rests and rejuvenates.”

• “The festive spirit of December fills our hearts with a warmth that defies the cold.”

• “December’s magic lies in its ability to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary, with a touch of frost and a sprinkle of cheer.”

• “In December, we wrap ourselves in the comfort of familiar traditions and the love of family and friends.”

• “The serenity of a December snowfall invites us to pause and marvel at the quiet wonders of the world.”

• “December’s chill encourages us to seek warmth not just in blankets, but in the company of loved ones.”

• “The end of December marks not just the closing of a year, but the anticipation of new adventures ahead.”

• “December’s nights are a symphony of silence and stars, each one telling a story of dreams and aspirations.”

• “In December, the world transforms into a wonderland, where every frosty breath is a testament to the season’s magic.”

• “December’s beauty is found in the moments of stillness, where time seems to pause and hearts beat in unison.”

• “The spirit of December is one of giving, a reminder that the greatest gifts come from the heart.”

• “December’s landscapes, blanketed in snow, are a reminder that even in the coldest times, beauty thrives.”

• “As December days grow colder, our hearts grow warmer with the anticipation of holiday cheer.”

• “December invites us to reflect on the past and dream of the future, all while savoring the present.”

• “The quiet beauty of December evenings offers a perfect backdrop for introspection and gratitude.”

• “December’s frosty mornings remind us that even the coldest starts can lead to the warmest memories.”

• “In December, every snowflake is a unique reminder of the beauty and individuality of each moment.”

• “December’s charm lies in its ability to bring people together, fostering a sense of unity and joy.”

Funny December Quotes

• “December is the month when we all pretend to be elves, wrapping presents with precision only to watch them get torn apart in 2.5 seconds of Christmas morning frenzy. It’s like a festive workout for our patience!”

• “In December, we willingly subject ourselves to the madness of holiday shopping. We brave the crowds, endure the endless carols, and wonder if Santa would accept a list written in the tears of overwhelmed parents.”

• “Ah, December! The time of year when we swap our diets for an all-cookie regimen, convince ourselves that hot chocolate is a suitable breakfast, and pray that our New Year’s resolutions will magically erase all caloric sins.”

• “December is that magical month when you can gain weight just by looking at a gingerbread house. It’s the season where elastic waistbands become a fashion statement and hibernation feels like a legitimate lifestyle choice.”

• “In December, we decorate our homes with twinkling lights, tinsel, and inflatable reindeer, only to realize we’ve created a holiday wonderland that could be seen from space. NASA should really start paying us for these light shows!”

• “December is the month where you can wear a Santa hat in public, call it fashion, and no one will question your sanity. It’s also the only time of year when eating cookies for breakfast is not just acceptable, but encouraged.”

• “December is the only month where it’s perfectly normal to have a tree in your living room, lights on your house, and a jolly old man in a red suit breaking into your home via the chimney. It’s like living in a Hallmark movie!”

• “In December, we all turn into human advent calendars, counting down the days with chocolate and sheer determination to make it through the holiday chaos without losing our minds or our wallets.”

• “December is when we embrace the cold with layers upon layers of clothing, resembling overstuffed burritos, and yet we still believe the myth that holiday calories don’t count. Santa must have started that rumor.”

• “In December, we send greeting cards filled with glitter, ensuring that our friends and family will be finding sparkly bits in their homes until next Christmas. It’s our little gift that keeps on giving…and giving…and giving.”

• “December is that magical month when we cram our schedules with holiday parties, only to spend January hiding from our credit card bills like they’re the ghost of Christmas past.”

• “In December, we become masters of the fake smile, nodding through endless renditions of ‘Jingle Bells’ while internally screaming, ‘Not again!’ It’s the ultimate test of holiday cheer endurance.”

• “December is the month where our homes smell like a delightful blend of pine, cinnamon, and desperation as we frantically bake cookies, wrap presents, and try to remember where we hid the good wrapping paper.”

• “In December, we embrace the ‘ugly sweater’ tradition, turning what was once a fashion faux pas into a competition to see who can look the most like a festive explosion of yarn and bad taste.”

• “December is when we willingly watch cheesy holiday movies with predictable plots, yet somehow still tear up when the protagonist finds true love in a snowstorm. It’s the cinematic equivalent of comfort food.”

• “In December, we transform into gift-giving ninjas, stealthily hiding presents in the most obscure places, only to forget where we hid them and find them three months later during spring cleaning.”

• “December is the only time of year when we endure the cold with a smile, pretending that shivering uncontrollably is just part of the holiday spirit. Meanwhile, our toes have gone completely numb.”

• “In December, we willingly partake in caroling, even if we can’t hold a tune, because nothing says ‘holiday cheer’ like butchering ‘Silent Night’ in front of your neighbors.”

• “December is the month where we cover everything in glitter and wonder why our homes look like a fairy exploded by the time New Year’s rolls around. It’s the sparkly curse of the holiday season.”

• “In December, we all become part-time decorators, attempting to untangle lights that somehow turned into a Gordian knot over the summer. It’s a festive puzzle that requires equal parts patience and holiday spirits.”

• “December is when we indulge in holiday feasts that make us question our life choices, but we still go back for seconds because calories don’t count if they’re eaten in the name of tradition.”

• “In December, we swap our regular coffee for peppermint lattes, convincing ourselves that adding candy canes to everything is the epitome of holiday sophistication. Spoiler: it’s not.”

• “December is the month where we send out holiday cards with family photos, carefully curated to look candid. It’s a fine art of pretending we’re not exhausted from wrangling everyone into matching sweaters.”

• “In December, we go from zero to festive in the blink of an eye, turning our homes into winter wonderlands while wondering if the neighbors will outdo us with their synchronized light show extravaganza.”

• “December is when we embrace the art of regifting, skillfully passing along that fruitcake we received last year, hoping it will finally find a home where it can be appreciated—or at least not reappear.”

• “In December, we attend holiday office parties, where we awkwardly navigate conversations and avoid the mistletoe like it’s a ticking time bomb of social embarrassment.”

• “December is the month where we willingly wear matching pajamas with our families for photos, because nothing says ‘happy holidays’ like looking like an oversized candy cane in front of a camera.”

• “In December, we indulge in eggnog, a concoction that defies logic but somehow becomes acceptable once a year. It’s the holiday beverage that tastes like regret but feels like tradition.”

• “December is when we hear ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ on repeat and wonder if Mariah Carey has a direct line to Santa, ensuring her holiday anthem remains inescapable.”

• “In December, we embrace the madness of holiday travel, navigating crowded airports and long lines with the hope that the destination will make up for the journey—usually involving a lot of snacks and patience.”

• “December is the month where we transform our cars into reindeer, complete with antlers and a red nose, fully committing to the holiday spirit even if it means explaining our festive choices to confused onlookers.”

• “In December, we attempt to build gingerbread houses, a task that starts with high hopes and ends with sticky fingers, collapsed walls, and a newfound respect for architects.”

• “December is when we endure awkward family gatherings, pretending to enjoy Aunt Edna’s fruitcake while secretly feeding it to the dog under the table. The true spirit of the holidays is survival.”

• “In December, we navigate the minefield of holiday greetings, carefully choosing between ‘Merry Christmas,’ ‘Happy Holidays,’ and ‘Season’s Greetings’ like it’s a linguistic tightrope.”

• “December is the month where we decorate our desks at work, trying to out-festive our colleagues with tinsel, lights, and miniature trees, turning the office into a competitive winter wonderland.”

• “In December, we host holiday cookie exchanges, which is really just an excuse to eat a variety of cookies without judgment. It’s a sugar-fueled celebration of baking and questionable caloric choices.”

• “December is when we hang stockings by the fireplace with care, only to watch our pets knock them down repeatedly because they think it’s a new game. The holidays are for everyone, after all.”

• “In December, we embrace the cold weather, bundling up in layers of clothing so thick that moving becomes an Olympic sport. Who knew staying warm could be such a workout?”

• “December is the month where we nostalgically reminisce about snow days, conveniently forgetting the shoveling, slipping, and freezing involved. It’s all about selective holiday memory.”

• “In December, we turn wrapping presents into a competitive sport, aiming for perfect corners and elaborate bows, only to have our efforts torn apart in seconds. The thrill is in the challenge!”