Facts About Life You Should Not Ignore at Age 23
I’ve always thought of 23 as this weird no-man’s-land of adulthood. You’re not in college anymore, and you’re not fully “established” either. You’re making decisions with barely any runway behind you—and the outcomes feel huge. What’s tricky is that this age looks like freedom, but really, it’s momentum in disguise.
Psychologists like Erik Erikson placed this stage right at the edge of identity vs. role confusion—you’re expected to pick a lane before you even understand what the highway looks like.
Daniel Levinson called it the “early adult transition,” and it’s not poetic; it’s chaotic by design.
Why does this matter to us—experts, coaches, educators? Because too often, we focus on outcomes for people in their 20s instead of orientation.
Age 23 isn’t about having the answers. It’s about understanding which questions actually shape the path ahead. So let’s dive into the stuff we all know, but maybe need to look at with fresh eyes.
Hard truths you need to accept early
You don’t really know yourself yet
We love to talk about self-awareness like it’s this milestone you hit. It’s not. It’s a moving target. You think you know what kind of work you enjoy, what kind of people you vibe with, even what city makes you feel alive—but give it two years, and suddenly you’re burned out from the dream job, tired of your own friend group, and wondering why everything familiar feels like a mismatch.
This is not a personal failure. It’s data collection. The self you are at 23 is the prototype, not the final product. Most people I’ve coached or interviewed in their 30s say the same thing: “I didn’t realize how much I was just reacting to what was around me.”
Instead of pushing young adults to “figure themselves out,” we should be helping them build adaptive identities—ones that can respond to feedback instead of clinging to fixed ideas. The better question at 23 is, “What parts of me feel alive right now, and how can I explore that further without locking it in forever?”
Your career path will be messy—and that’s a good thing
We’ve sold this myth of the career ladder so hard that people feel broken when they don’t follow it. But look at anyone thriving in their 30s or 40s, and their résumé reads more like a jungle gym. They zigzagged. They doubled back. They freelanced. They took weird detours.
The fastest-growing roles today didn’t even exist five years ago. UX writers, AI ethicists, prompt engineers? None of these were on a traditional career roadmap. So why are we pushing 23-year-olds to lock in their five-year plan?
Here’s what I tell people: optimize for learning and leverage, not title and status. Work somewhere that gives you room to experiment, access to smart people, and a front-row seat to how things work. If you can’t learn fast and adapt faster, the title won’t save you.
A good friend of mine ditched a corporate consulting job to join a seed-stage startup as a generalist. Everyone thought he was nuts. Two years later, he’s leading product, building things from scratch, and learning more per week than he ever did in a whole quarter before. That’s the jungle gym.
Your network will outlast your skills
This one’s simple but deep: skills get outdated; relationships don’t. The fastest doors I’ve seen open for people at this age came through weak ties—the old classmate, the cousin’s coworker, the person you met once at a hackathon.
Mark Granovetter’s research on “The Strength of Weak Ties” still holds up today. It’s not your closest circle that usually lands you new roles or ideas—it’s the looser, more diverse connections that bridge you to new domains.
So if I could embed one social muscle at 23, it’s curious generosity: ask people about their work, follow up after coffee chats, introduce people who should know each other. Don’t network like you’re trading business cards. Network like you’re planting long-term seeds.
One of my clients got her dream job through a cold DM she sent after reading someone’s blog post on medium. No job board, no recruiter. Just authentic interest and good timing. That’s modern connection.
Grit and flexibility beat raw intelligence
Here’s something that shook me: the people with the most “potential” on paper—top of their class, glowing references—don’t always thrive in real-world chaos. The people who rise? They’re gritty, self-regulating, and unshakeably adaptive.
Angela Duckworth’s work on grit, and Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset, have been around for a while—but they’re still misunderstood. Grit isn’t about grinding until you collapse. It’s about sustained interest + long-term resilience.
At 23, life throws curveballs fast. Failed projects, rejections, lonely transitions. The high-IQ, low-resilience combo doesn’t last. But the people who know how to reframe failure, who track their emotional state, who are okay pivoting without shame—those are the ones who stay in the game long enough to win.
When I look back, the biggest skill I built in my 20s wasn’t any technical thing. It was the ability to feel like crap one day and still show up the next without spiraling. That’s a form of intelligence we don’t teach nearly enough.
These truths aren’t new to us—but they are worth repeating with nuance. Because while the facts haven’t changed, the context has. Gen Z is navigating this with higher stakes, noisier inputs, and less margin for error. Our job isn’t to prescribe. It’s to illuminate and accompany.
Non-negotiable habits to start young
Honestly, when I look back at my own life in my early 20s, one thing’s painfully clear: habits compound. It sounds so cliché—but the tiny, everyday things you do at 23 literally shape who you become by 33. That’s why I call these habits non-negotiable: because ignoring them now is just creating more friction later. Here are the must-haves that even smart, savvy young people tend to miss:
Build a 3–6 month emergency fund
At 23, you probably aren’t thinking about emergencies. But trust me—life hits harder when you don’t have padding. This is about freedom, not just security. Having cash means you can walk away from a toxic job or move cities without panic. This habit isn’t just smart; it’s empowering.
Start therapy or journaling—even if nothing’s wrong
We still stigmatize mental health by making therapy feel like crisis response. But therapy’s at its best when used for prevention and growth. Same goes for journaling. At 23, your brain’s wiring is still plastic—you can literally reprogram how you react to stress. One weekly session or a simple daily reflection habit can dramatically change your emotional resilience.
Learn 5 healthy meals you can cook from scratch
Forget cooking for Instagram aesthetics; learn cooking for sustainable health. At 23, eating ramen feels harmless. At 33, it catches up. Knowing how to cook a handful of nutritious meals quickly and cheaply is a game-changer. Your future self will thank you—trust me.
Set clear digital boundaries
Notifications are literally designed to hijack your brain. At 23, you’re digital-native but probably digitally exhausted. I know too many people who say their late 20s and early 30s vanished in digital fog. Try app blockers, screen-free hours, or at minimum, no phones in your bedroom. It sounds minor, but it’s life-changing.
Track your time once per quarter
Most people grossly underestimate where their hours actually go. One week per quarter, log your day. Where are you leaking productivity, energy, or joy? Every person I’ve coached who does this is blown away by the insights. It’s like financial budgeting, but for your time—your most valuable resource.
Master basic negotiation
You don’t need to be a shark, just comfortable advocating for yourself. Salary negotiation, rent agreements, setting personal boundaries—all of these are negotiations. One strong conversation can literally mean thousands of dollars or countless hours saved annually. Practice this skill early and often, and it’ll pay dividends.
Run “learning sprints” every 90 days
If there’s a meta-skill that’s worth mastering at 23, it’s learning fast. Every three months, pick one specific thing—coding, Spanish, video editing, whatever—and sprint. Dive deep. Experiment. Get obsessed. This teaches you adaptability, keeps your brain sharp, and builds confidence that you can pivot later when life inevitably requires it.
Send a gratitude message weekly
Sounds fluffy, but hear me out. Gratitude messages force you to notice the good stuff—relationships, experiences, kindness—that normally slips under your radar. The unexpected upside: it strengthens relationships significantly. People who consistently show appreciation are universally respected and supported.
Learn to say “No” clearly, quickly, kindly
The biggest drain at 23 is feeling obligated to say yes. It’s how you end up overwhelmed, resentful, or off-track. Mastering the art of a polite yet firm “no” is liberating. Each no carves out space for meaningful yeses later.
Audit your inputs regularly
What you read, watch, and listen to directly shapes your thinking. If you consume junk, your output becomes shallow. Quarterly, check your inputs—podcasts, books, influencers—and ruthlessly curate. Aim for fewer, higher-quality inputs. It’s mental hygiene, plain and simple.
Patterns to keep your eye on
Being 23 means you’re uniquely positioned to spot the shifts that older generations miss because we’re too tied to old patterns. Here are the trends I see emerging fast—and why they matter deeply for anyone navigating their early adulthood right now.
Skills over credentials—every single time
When I was younger, having a flashy degree meant doors opened automatically. That’s disappearing rapidly. Now, what you’ve built matters way more than where you studied. Companies increasingly hire based on demonstrated skill: GitHub projects, YouTube channels, or a thriving newsletter can open far more doors than your university ever could.
My friend Abby studied English but learned UI/UX design online. Her self-made portfolio landed her a senior position within two years—something her prestigious degree alone couldn’t do. So at 23, prioritize building things you can showcase publicly, not just collecting certificates.
The loneliness epidemic is real—and sneaky
We’re more digitally connected than ever, yet studies show loneliness has skyrocketed, especially for those in their early 20s. Urban isolation, job transience, and social media comparison feed this quietly destructive pattern.
This matters deeply because loneliness directly impacts physical and mental health. I’ve seen even brilliant, outgoing friends slide into deep isolation in bustling cities like New York or San Francisco. The antidote? Intentional community-building. Join clubs, attend meetups, create consistent routines that put you around people. Don’t underestimate small social rituals—they anchor your mental well-being.
The rise of creators who also execute
One of the biggest shifts I’ve observed is the growing demand for people who combine creative thinking with actual implementation skills. Historically, you’d pick: visionary or operator. Now, the hybrid wins every time.
Think of someone like Ali Abdaal—a doctor turned YouTuber turned entrepreneur. He succeeds not because he’s simply creative or hardworking, but because he consistently brings ideas from conception all the way to execution. If you’re 23 and you want a competitive advantage, build the habit of shipping creative work consistently. Your versatility will be your edge.
Wealth is being redefined—and it’s liberating
When I was in my early 20s, wealth meant having stuff—houses, cars, flashy trips. Today, many young adults consciously pursue freedom: financial independence, flexibility, low-overhead lifestyles. Wealth is increasingly measured in autonomy and time rather than just cash.
People who grasp this at 23 find themselves far happier at 33.
I’ve seen people turn down higher-paying corporate gigs to build modest but location-independent lifestyles. This shift is deeply empowering—if you can internalize early that money buys freedom rather than validation, you’re ahead of most of your peers.
Final Thoughts
Age 23 is both vulnerable and powerful. You’re shaping who you’ll become with every decision, habit, and mindset you adopt right now.
These realities might seem obvious—but they’re exactly the truths we tend to overlook until much later, often wishing someone had laid them out clearly sooner.
The good news?
Awareness changes everything. You can’t avoid uncertainty, but you absolutely can prepare for it. Choose clarity, flexibility, and intention now. Your future self will be endlessly grateful.
