100 Funny Wedding Card Messages

While heartfelt and sentimental messages are always appreciated, injecting a bit of humor into your wedding card can bring an extra touch of joy to the happy couple’s special day. 

In this blog post, we’ll explore some funny and lighthearted messages that you can include in a wedding card to bring a smile to the newlyweds’ faces. 

Let’s dive in.

Funny Wedding Card Messages

  1. “Two become one. One bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners.”

  2. “Love is all about annoying each other and still sticking together. Happy wedding day!”

  3. “Congrats on the upgrade from ‘Netflix & Chill’ to ‘Netflix & Commitment.'”

  4. “Welcome to the world where your wife is always right. Congrats, dude!”

  5. “Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. Congrats!”

  6. “Congrats on finding someone who tolerates your morning breath.”

  7. “Here’s to a lifetime of love, happiness, and compromising on where to have dinner.”

  8. “Congratulations on finally succumbing to life’s biggest myth – a happy marriage.”

  9. “Remember, in wedding cake, calories don’t count. Enjoy!”

  10. “Wedding Rule #1: Don’t refuse the cake, it’s bad luck. Wishing you a sweet married life.”

  11. “Can’t wait to sob uncontrollably at your wedding!”

  12. “Congratulations on signing your life away. No more sympathy seeking. Happy Marriage!”

  13. “Welcome to the dangerous world of married life. It’s too late to repent! Have an amazing journey.”

  14. “Now you’re stuck with each other forever! Enjoy!”

  15. “Love is blind but the marriage is an eye-opener. Happy wedding!”

  16. “Welcome to the club of ‘I was wrong’, babe.”

  17. “Congratulations on finding someone weird enough to go along with your quirks.”

  18. “The key to a successful marriage: laugh a lot… mostly at each other.”

  19. “Congratulations! Can’t wait for the first ‘Weird things my spouse does’ story.”

  20. “Happy wedding! I promise to be the one person in the crowd you can always spot rolling their eyes.”

  21. “Hope your married life is as chilled as the champagne we’re about to drink.”

  22. “Congrats on the mutual agreement to become each other’s permanent roommates!”

  23. “Marriage tip: Arguing over the remote control helps burn calories. Have fun!”

  24. “Sad to say that your unexpected marriage cast a shadow on your happiness.”

  25. “You two were truly made for each other. And by ‘made for each other’ I mean you’re both equally crazy.”
  26. “Just remember, ‘for better or worse’ includes football season. Congratulations!”

  27. “Congrats on finding the only person on the planet who thinks your snoring is cute.”

  28. “Congrats on deciding never to be right again. Happy marriage life!”

  29. “Welcome to the most dangerous part of your life – now you can’t even fart without being judged.”

  30. “Before you get married, remember that ‘I do’ also means ‘I don’t’ when it comes to sharing food.”

  31. “Congratulations on your wedding. May your love for each other be like your Wi-Fi signal – strong and uninterrupted!”

  32. “Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. Congratulations, you’re cured!”

  33. “Congrats! Now you can officially say Thank You after ragging the hell out of each other.”

  34. “They say all is fair in love and war, but wait until you’re married. Good luck!”

  35. “Here’s to a life of shared desserts. Congratulations on your wedding!”

  36. “Congratulations on getting hitched! You’ve just gained a lifetime’s subscription to your partner’s jokes.”

  37. “Brace yourselves for the ‘what’s for dinner’ standoff. Happy wedding!”

  38. “Good luck on the whole ’till death do us part’ thing. Seems risky, but you guys got this.”

  39. “Congrats on your matrimony! If all else fails, buy a dog.”

  40. “Just wanted to remind you that deaf husbands and blind wives make the best pairs. Happy wedding!”

  41. “Congratulations! You have successfully passed the ‘End of Fun’ level. Enjoy the next stage!”

  42. “Don’t wait for a special occasion to remind each other of your love. Except today. Today, do it a lot.”

  43. “Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband. Congrats!”

  44. “Remember, marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.”

  45. “Congratulations on your wedding! Now you can say goodbye to romance and hello to routine.”

  46. “Congrats on your wedding! I’m so happy for your decreased living costs.”

  47. “Congrats! I can’t wait for the wedding – I mean, free food, right?”

  48. “Congratulations on choosing someone to put up with your elaborate schemes to steal the blankets.”

  49. “Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works, and the wife shops. Best of luck!”

  50. “Just remember – marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.”

  51. “Congrats on your big day! Remember, being ‘always right’ is not necessarily good for your mental health.”

  52. “Welcome to the world where ‘What’s mine is hers’, and ‘What’s hers, is hers’. Happy marriage life!”

  53. “Marriage: because dating was too easy. Congratulations!”

  54. “Congrats on your wedding! May the odds be ever in your favor.”

  55. “Congratulations on finding that one person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

  56. “Can’t wait for the ‘his side/her side’ duvet cover. Happy Wedding!”

  57. “Welcome to the ‘No Spinster/ Bachelor Club.’ Enjoy your lifetime membership!”

  58. “Congrats on getting hitched! Say goodbye to quiet bathrooms.”

  59. “You now have a pet for life who is going to be loyal to you all time.”

  60. “May your life together be as adventurous as when you got caught making out in the car.”

  61. “Marriage is just texting each other ‘do we need anything from the grocery store?’ until one of you dies. Congrats!”

  62. “Don’t sweat the small stuff on your wedding day – it’s not about the wedding, it’s about the marriage.”

  63. “Congrats on making it official! Can’t wait to see how cute your future babies will be.”

  64. “Welcome to married life, where you have two choices: be wrong or be quiet. Enjoy!”

  65. “Congrats. Your body count has finally reached retirement day”

  66. “Here’s to love, laughter, and your happily ever after. And ignoring each other’s farts.”

  67. “Congrats! Now you’re officially allowed to laugh at each other’s ‘Dad/Mom jokes’.”

  68. “Here’s to your marriage, where ‘Yes, dear’ is the answer to everything.”

  69. “Congratulations on your wedding! Now get ready for ‘Honey, where’s my socks?’ every morning.”

  70. “Wedding Advice: If you’re wrong, admit it. If you’re right, brick it. Happy Marriage!”

  71. “May your love story be as magical and charming as in fairy tales! Congratulations on the wedding.”

  72. “Marriage: when dating goes too far. Best wishes on your journey together!”

  73. “Congrats! You’re the one couple I don’t mind third wheeling with.”

  74. “Remember, teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else. Good luck!”

  75. “Happy wedding day! Just a reminder, it’s not too late to back out.”

  76. “Congrats on finding the one person you want to drive crazy for the rest of your life.”

  77. “The secret to a happy marriage is… still a secret. Congrats!”

  78. “Good luck with the whole ‘even when we’re old and wrinkly’ thing.”

  79. “You are now no longer a student of life but a man of firm choices”

  80. “Congrats on choosing your forever Netflix co-watcher!”

  81. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. Have a joyful wedded life.”

  82. “Now that you are getting married, I assume you’ll be wearing the pants in the family. Underneath the apron. Congratulations!”

  83. “Wishing you a lifetime supply of dishes, laundry, and happy surprises.”

  84. “Congratulations on your wedding! Good luck finding a hiding place in your own home.”

  85. “Don’t forget the most important rule of a happy marriage. When you’re wrong, admit it. When you’re right, keep quiet!”

  86. “Let’s raise a glass to your future. And not telling your better half what we did at that bachelorette party.”

  87. “It’s not about finding the person you can live with. It’s about finding the person you can’t live without. But also can’t live without the remote. Congrats!”

  88. “Wishing you a long, happy marriage, full of people leaving you alone when you’re watching your shows.”

  89. “Here’s to a sweet married life, where you’ll always have someone to share your Wi-Fi password with.”

  90. “Congrats on settling down. Can’t wait to watch you ‘adult’ together.”

  91. “May your life together be as spicy as the salsa at your wedding’s taco bar.”

  92. “Happy wedding day! So glad I could witness this legally binding fist bump.”

  93. “You guys are great together. Like ‘watching TV and not talking’ great.”

  94. “Congratulations on legally sharing a Netflix account.”

  95. “Best wishes for a fun-filled future together with lots of movie nights.”

  96. “Congratulations on finding the one person who you want to drive back from the airport forever.”

  97. “Here’s to a marriage filled with laughter. You’ll start with each other’s dressing sense.”

  98. “Congrats on the life you no longer need a vacation from. “

  99. “Congrats! I’m looking forward to seeing the two of you grow old and less wild together.”

  100. “From my favorite single buddy to a shackled man – how the mighty have fallen! Best wishes for your marriage.”